Katadin and the 100 miles (almost)

Hello Cats and Kittens, we are fresh out the wilderness (and by fresh I mean so smelly you know we are coming from a mile away) and will do our best to fill you in on all our adventures.  First we are out of the "100 mile wilderness" though still haven't finished it. I know kinda confusing, basically we were about 20 miles from finishing the wilderness when I rolled my ankle pretty badly. I've rolled my ankle a few times, but this time it hurt to walk, and we were concerned about doing further damage. Its a longer story but essentially we did a lot of extra hiking trying to get out of the wilderness, spent a day hitch hiking, and now are in a hostel in Monson, resting our legs, showering, eating real food, resupplying and enjoying all the "modern day comforts" that we often take for granted. We got in yesterday, and will be leaving on Friday, spending tomorrow working all day for the hostel so the three nights we spent here will be free. Work for stay is the jam!! 
Im gonna try to give a general overview, then Andrew or I will do our best to give more details later. Lets go old school.
Roses aka the good of the last two weeks.
The Views: I've seen some of the most remarkable landscape, mountains, lakes, animals, freakin everything in the last two weeks than I've ever seen. The land up in Maine is rough (Ill cover that in my thorns) but DAMN it's beautiful. We climb mountain after mountain, each view a different angle of this beautiful state. We walk by the same lake for days, stopping to dip our sore feet in the cool water. Tent sites by the lakes are filled with the sound of loons all night long. Many lean-to's are right besides streams, or waterfalls, so we go to sleep to the sound of rushing water, which sometimes helps with the other hikers loud snoring. We wake up and walk down to a rushing waterfall, and fill our water filter bag, dipping our tired toes in the ice cold water, waking our body up before we may be ready. We watch the sunset every night, and night means total darkness, with stars covering the sky. We are doing our best to post pictures, but right now it aint happening. We will continue to try, because my paltry words cannot express the dazzling nature I've been blessed to see the last week and half. 
The lakes: One great thing about Maine is that there is water a plenty. Not just streams, but massive lakes that seem to stretch on forever.We can go swimming, bury our felt in smooth mountain rocks, and watch the reflection of the sunset as it covers the surface of the lakes with colorful beauty.
The wildlife (mostly): We have seen a bear, moose, loons, snow hair, owls, ducks, guinea hens, and the oh so pesky chipmunks, squirrels, and mice.That's rights, we have already seen two moose! The first one we saw on our 6th day when we stayed at a B&B/hostel type in the middle of the wilderness called White House Landing. Mostly because I was going a little nuts in the woods and needed a shower and to talk to my Mom. Anyway this place had canoes and was right on the river so we took a canoe out at sunset in the attempt to spot a moose. Moose watching if you will. And sure enough, right as we were about to turn back we saw a Cow (female Moose) drinking from the lake. They aren't too skiddish so we were able to paddle about 10 feet from it and watch as it enjoyed the same cool lake that we had. Our second moose was spotted by me, about 700 feet from our lean too, right at the end of a long hiking day. Long story short, I was crying (as I have almost every day) and walking slow enough that I spotted a dark spot in the middle of some thick bushes by a mud puddle. Andrew and I tried to creep closer and then it turned into the bushes. Andrew ran ahead to try to get a picture, and as he did another SOBO hiker (Trail Name Angry German) came whistling behind us unaware of our attempt at stealthyness. I quickly shushed him and as I did we saw the moose come out of the bushes and got to see it swatting flies with is large ears. Andrew had run way too far ahead and yelled, "Lys I think its gone" and I laughing responded "Babe, Im literally staring at it, its like 10 feet away." So Andrew came running back up the trail to see it, and as he did, the Cow (again female Moose) started walking in my direction. Now I don't know how close yall have been to a Moose, but it suddenly occured to me that this beautiful muscular moose body could be pretty deadly if so provoked. As it took another step in my direction, the other SOBO I was with, advised me to get behind a tree, in case of moose attack. So AG (Angry German) and I got behind some skinny little trees as Andrew came loudly tip-toeing   on the other side of the Moose. The Moose ran between us and up a hill as we watched in awe the great beast climb a steep dense forest in a few quick strides.  We laughed and discussed our moose encounter as we walked the few minutes to our sleeping destination for the night and set down our packs. Moments later we saw the moose rounding around the corner of the trail as it ran full speed downhill into the stream about 30 feet below. Needless to say Moose are super cool, and if you want to see one, it probably helps to cry.
We also had a RIDICULOUS bear encounter, but Ill let Andrew cover that one, because his pack took the brunt of that experience. I will say there was a black bear that snuck up about 10 feet behind me and for the first time in my life I ran screaming at a black bear, throwing rocks and yelling things such as "This is not your home bear! Go back to your home! I will get you!"
Trail Magic: There are two sayings on the trail, trail magic and trail angels, that pretty much help keep you on the bloody thing. Trail magic is anytime a stranger or fellow hiker does something unexpectedly kind. Trail Angels are people that help you in a time of need, or really anytime. Trail magic can range from a cooler of sodas left out in the woods, to gifting you extra food, to a ride into town, really anything that brightens your day. Our first trail magic was DEET bugspray, which is ironic given we both swore never to use the stuff. But on the third day I was averaging 15-20 misquito bites on my ass and thighs alone, so I was in some desperate need of some deet. A section hiker heard us complaining about how terrible the bugs were, and gifted us the last of his bugspray since he was finishing his hike the next day. A fellow SOBO (AG again) got some food trail magic from a group of weekend hikers and saved us each a kiwi just because. Some older lady section hikers were about to go into town, so gave Andrew and I some gummy snacks, a full container of organic peanut butter, crackers, and all kinds of other goodies. When I rolled my ankle we were given rides from 4 seperate cars, all who happily tried to make sure we got to Monson. I could go on, and will some other time.
Love from home: When at White House Landing, I got to talk on the phone to my Mom, and my Asheville Mom, Larissa, which made a massive difference in my mood. Somehow in the woods the days feel twice and long and it's very easy to forget there are people who love me and believe I can do this. Talking to my "two moms" reminded me of the incredible people in my life, and my ability to make myself completely crazy by insisting on irrational thinking. I also got some texts from my mom, my hommie Christine, and a few days later a great voicemail from my girl Bri. Texts, emails, voicemails, are all really appreciated, even if I can't reply quickly, know they mean the world after a hard day of hiking.
Andrew: He has been a hiking rockstar. Patient with my slow ass self, constant in his positive mood no matter the struggle of the day, going with the flow, even if it means spending a day hitching because of my rolled ankle, encouraging me to push forward even in the face of my tears and negative attitude, basically being his consistent kind rockstar self. Sometimes its hard for me not to resent him, because all of this comes so much easier for him, but he is just too damn positive for me to do that.
I'm sure there are more roses, but I'm getting tired, so that's what I have so far.

So thorns. Sadly I've probably been focusing more on these than I should. First I wanted to list the reasons I decided to do the AT, so that when I list my complaints I don't sounds like so much of a whiney face.

Reasons that I, Lysandra, wanted to do the AT:
1. I want to develop a deeper gratitude for the world I live in. To remember to appreciate and recognize the millions of miracles that happen every day. 

2. I want to develop a stronger strength in myself both physically and mentally. I want to become more confidant in my physical body and push myself to my physical and mental limits, in order to explore my negative thought patterns, and find healthier ways to process stress. This may be the one I struggle with the most.

3. I want an adventure, to try something new. I've notice with age comes the idea that if you haven't done something yet, you never can. I do not want this to be true in my life. Even though being a beginner is hard, it teaches you so much, and hiking the AT is about as far out of my comfort zone as it gets. While also being an incredible cool healthy thing to do.

4. I want to remind myself it's about the journey, not the destination

5. I want to figure out what I want to do with my life, for at least the next few years. What is next for me, in terms of career and where I want to live, all that grown-up stuff.

6. To figure out if Andrew and I will go through this next phase in our life together, or not.

So Thorns aka not so good:
THE PAIN: I've never been so physically sore in my life. At the end of the day my feet feel like giant bruises and each step is agony. Or lets say some days are agony, some are uncomfortable but, in general my feet, ankles and knees bring me to tears at least once a day. Maine is a rooty, rocky, rough terrain that can be difficult for a seasoned NOBO so is clearly a horribly rough start for a newbie SOBO. Many consider Maine the "hardest state" and I've been warned that "I haven't even seen hard yet"so its hard not to fear the pain to come. When it hurts to walk, and that is what you have to do for the next six months, it can feel really overwhelming.

BUGS: Bugs love me. They cover me in love bites. That itch. A. LOT. Flies seem to like to fly into my hair, and bite my scalp. One night Andrew counted13 mosquito bites on my rear end alone. They also seem to like my thighs. Lots of big spiders, constantly walking into spider webs. I know, it's nature, bugs are everywhere, but they make me fuckin nuts sometimes.

All the boys: This fucking trail is swimming with men. Young, old, all smelly and dirty ( to be fair I am also very smelly and dirty), and all men. Sure men are fine, great even, but I'm seriously missing some female friendship. I mean you seen ladies every now and then, but hardly any SOBOs, and many females I've met have that hardcore I'm so tough and badass vibe which just isn't how I am. Of course that can be really great, but mostly the badass type, both male and female seem to want to scare me about how hard things are going to get, how I've barely done anything yet, how people have died on this trail, broken bones, general talk that is meant to make them feel super hard core and often leaves me feeling scared and desiring a whole to crawl into.

Crying/Negative thoughts: Yep, I've cried almost every day. After the first few days of the whimpering, constant "I can't do it, I suck, I'm a big fat loser" type talk Andrew piped in with his two cents. Basically he sympathized with my crying as a way to release emotion, but had a serious problem with all the negative shitty things I insisted on whining to myself as I actively climbed a mountain. So I've stopped most of the whining, but still am brought to tears by the pain of my feet, knees or ankles once a day. Maybe I'm still a wimp, but this stuff is hard. I've never been hardcore physically, so it's hard to know where to put all the pain and emotion of doing this stuff.

Being a beginner: It seems like almost everyone I've met has been hiking for years, planning this trip since they were a kid, and even most of the SOBO's I've met are already doing 15-20 mile days. There is nothing in the AT world I feel good at, or even familiar with. Nothing I feel confidant at, and in fact on a daily, almost hourly basis I feel like its the first day of kindergarten all over again. Of course it was one of my reasons for doing the damn thing, but in the hard moments, its so FUCKING frustrating to feel like I'm the only one who is new to all this. Also rolling my ankle every few days isn't the best.

The food: The "hiker hunger" hasn't kicked in yet, and we brought very bland food, so I've pretty much been nauseous 80% of the time. I mean I've always had a problem with that, so having to eat super early, hike on a full stomach with a tight strap around my stomach doesn't help and I'm a hot mess of wanting to vomit all the time.


Ok WOW, this turned into more of a personal check-in than a meant it to. We will def try to give more of a detailed account of our days, the mountains, all the cool peeps, all funny stories before we get back on the trail. Also I'm exhausted to be forgiving to the grammer, spelling, general no makey sense of some of this post.
Please keep the love coming, I know I need the support, and though Andrew is his usual positive self he can always use all the love you can throw at him.
Thanks for reading and supporting our journey. Loves yall. Loves.