Hey Yall! Its me, the girl who falls all the time, has no idea what she is doing and changes her mood about 37 time a day. Yep, I'm a gem :)
Lets see, I'm not good like Andrew with his nightly journaling. I basically get to camp, elevate my feet, eat as quickly as possible and fall asleep within the first few pages of Harry Potter. So I'll do my best on catch up, but you have been warned this will be both scattered and random.
Last post I complained about, well a whole freaking lot, and you will all be happy to learn.....I still have all those complaints. No, I kid, I kid... things are getting a bit brighter. First off, the view and landscape of Maine continue to be unreal. And of course we have no pictures to show you, that would be helpful, but trust us, our eyeballs are dancing in delight on a daily basis. Andrew had a birthday a few days ago (huzzah he is 30!) and we had a tent site on a large flat rock right over a massive lake. So we listened to loons (which sound like wolves at times and wacky birds at others) and had a cool lake breeze blowing on us all night. Plus I snuck come Reeses big cups into my food bag and surprised him with chocolate peanut butter goodness. I know its not much, but out in the woods, every unexpected treat means the world.
Lets see, in general Andrew is a still a rockstar, happy energetic, and because of the "slower pace" I need to take has very little muscle and joint pain compared to many other hikers (the beginning is often painful). Right now we are hiking about 8-10 mile days, every now and then we do a short 5 mile or a long 12 mile day. The 15-25 mile days that so many of the hikers we meet talk about still seem insane to me, but I know I must find a way to get there or we will be hiking this damn trail until spring. And by damn trail, I mean really freakin incredible challenging trail I hate/love depending on what minute it is.
My ankles and knees continue to have serious problems with the vagabond lifestyle. I'm assuming if they could speak they would say things like, "WTF, we are used to sitting around watching 'Parks and Rec,' then cooking for 4 hours, and then more sitting, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?" I'm pretty sure I have plantar fascitis in both feet, which basically means that my feet hurt a lot at least 50% of the time. I was fairly sure I had it in my right foot before we left, but my left foot is catching up, so a typical day for my feet goes as such: Wake up and they hurt A LOT. The first few steps of the morning feel like my foot is a massive bruise and every step is terrible. Then they feel ok until I put my shoes and pack on. (For anyone who cares, The hiking shoe I'm wearing is a men's running shoe with a 'Superfeet' insole, which may or may not be a good thing. Sadly, finding an outdoor store is almost impossible out here, much less one that has a perfect shoe for my incredibly wide, flat foot. I could not find a women's hking shoe that fit my foot, and I tried three stores in Asheville before we left. Anyway, shoe tangent end). So the first mile of walking is pretty painful, but bearable. Then my feet warm up and I have about 5-7 miles that are ok, of course depending on climbs, terrain, etc. Then pretty much regardless around mile 7-9 my feet start feeling like massive bruises again and it just gets more and more painful until I stop walking. As you can imagine, THIS IS REALLY FRUSTRATING. I continue to try and "ice" my feet and ankles (aka put them in all the cold Maine rivers and elevate them when possible) but the people I talk to with feet issues, specifially PF(plantars) have stated it just hurts and always kinda will. So great......or NOT great at all. I do feel stronger in my legs, but still anything over 10 miles is so overwhelming mentally and physically. Sigh.
Speaking of lakes, here is a funny/gross story. About four days ago Andrew and I were stopping for lunch at a ford (where you have to take your shoes off, croc up, and cross a river) when we spotted a cooler! In the woods coolers usually mean trail magic, and as it happens we stumbled apon the last two sodas in the cooler! That lifted our spirits tremendously as we crossed the river, and then decided to enjoy our sodas and lunch on the rocks with our feet soaking in the river. We both commented on how warm the water was, noting it was probably because it was kinda slow moving. We sat eating bagels, cheese, and fritos and talking to some lady NOBOs (Trail names Fruit Loop and Rook) that crossed the river as we lunched. We talked to them for a while, as I especially tried to pick their brains about hiking the trail as a female, clothes that work for them etc (All my clothes are wrong for the trail, lots of chaffing, etc, but anyhoo) I made them laugh about the common "pain is weakness leaving your body" macho mentality of many of the hikers on the trail and they tried to assure me things will get better, ladies can do this, and everyone has a hard time in the beginning. We headed toward our packs, our spirits particularly high after the great convo and the much needed sugar-rush from the cola, and sat down to dry our feet and return them to the smelly grossness that is a hiking shoe when I noticed a quarter sized brown spot on my upper calf. At first I thought it was dirt, so I went to wipe it off, but it wouldn't budge. Why? Because it was a LEECH!!! Andrew was a few feet away, but I would have screamed regardless. "UGHHH!!!!! LEECHES baby!" -I shudder as I begin to scan my legs and discover they are EVERYWHERE. I have several larger ones on my legs and then my feet are covered in tiny pinky nail size ones. By covered I mean, literally, between every toe. Leeches, as I discovered, are slipperly little bastards that are very hard to get off. I start trying to breathe deep, because I can feel the panic attack rising up inside me. Andrew, winning boyfriend of the year, comes over and helps me pry off these mini demons, trying and failing not to laugh at the overdramatic reaction that I am of course having at the site of my feet covered in leeches. He then looks at his own feet and has a few, but not nearly the leech-fest covering my poor tootsies. Also fun fact, even though leeches don't hurt, the cuts they make to suck yer blood do not seem to stop bleeding. Like, ever.
Switching to a better note, I do feel like I am getting stronger. I still feel insane most days, but I'm getting more used to sleeping outside, eating total junk food (sounds good, but honestly all we want most days are fruits and vegetables, junk food makes you feel gross, but it's cheap and light), and spending my days pushing my body to it's limit. Yesterday was actually a pretty acurate example of what hiking the AT is like. We woke up around 6am to a wet tent, not because it rained, but we camped in a grassy field so our tent was covered in dew. So we had to wait a while until the sun came out and dry it so we didn't have to unpack a wet tent that night. Hence we got a late start and about 10 minutes into walking we discovered a giant field of blueberries!! So clearly we stopped and picked about 2 cups of blueberries, giddily joking about how "one goes in the cup, and one goes in the mouth" and saved them for the top of the mountain we were about to climb. We set out to do a 8-10 mile day or so, and knew we had a long 5 mile mountain to climb. I was feeling good for the first three miles, struggling to climb the mountain, but keeping a slow and steady pace up the tedious upward climb. Then the last two miles just started breaking my spirit. Just when we would reach a peak, we would descend a few hundred feet, only to climb another 500 feet or so (Please note most mountains are like this. Its not just ONE big climb, it's lots of up and down, freakin mountains....) Once we reached the top, my feet and ankles were screaming, and I felt tired more than excited at the beautiful view. Andrew was pumped up and full of energy, which I could not fully appreciate in my exhausted state. The blueberries and the view eventually brought up my mood, though I still get so frustrated/sad/stupidly hard on myself when I let a hard climb sour my mood. The descent down the mountain was a short and steep 1.3 miles which is easier on the muscles, but much harder on the joints. And we have to take them slow because it is a rooty, rocky shit show and you don't want to break anything. We then arrived at a lean-to for a quick snack break and foot elevation, but decided to push on, hoping to get as close to Caratunk as possible as to make our walk in the morning a short one. Since we had no pre-designated tent site, we ended up walking an extra 5 miles until we found anything resembling a flat surface to tent on, making our day a 12 mile one. The last two miles I was in pretty unreasonable amounts of pain, and pushed on because I knew if I just dropped down on the trail the mosquitoes would eat me alive. We started setting up camp around 7:30 aka mosquitos buffet hour. I could barely stand, and even with bug spray was being attacked by those tiny blood suckers so stuffed half a bagel and a fruit snack in my mouth before retreating for the tent, leaving myself without enough food. Andrew braved the conditions a little longer, managing to eat an actual dinner of salmon and crackers, while I flossed and brushed inside the safety of tent. Then we set up the inside of the tent and I lay down and tried to quietly weep because even while lying down my feet were spasming (or something, Im still not sure what is going on). The best way I can describe the pain is if you have a bruise and someone punches it, that immediate pain, it feels like that is rippling up and down my foot. Andrew kindly offered to rub them, but I was in so much pain, I just tried to fall asleep. So yeah, that's kinda a day on the trail, beautiful one moment, painful the next, always an adventure. Man, I sound kinda like a downer. I'm working on it yall, I really am. This is hard stuff.
And just in case yall are wondering a typical day for us food wise goes a little something like:
Breakfast: Poptarts for me, Oatmeal for Andrew
Snack: Snickers and GORP (luckily that is almonds and nuts we get sent from home, with some raisins and peanut butter M &Ms)
Lunch: bagel with cheese or salmon, fritos or chips, perhaps some jerky
Snack: Jerky, GORP, Lara bar when we are luckily
Dinner: Lipton sides (which are, for the record pretty gross. But again light to carry and filling) or mac and cheese.
Sometimes we get a dark chocolate bar as a treat, but in general, we just eat crap. If anyone would be interested in sending us delicious (and lightwieght) camping meals, treats, snickers (the perfect hiker snack), delicous fruit and nut bars (like lara bars or pro-bars) etc, just comment on the blog or email us and we can let you know the next post office we will be hitting.
Ok I can't write anymore, I have an ice bag calling my name. As always we will post when we can, thank you for keeping up on our adventures. Love the comments, please keep them coming.
Showing posts with label Monson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Monson. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Katadin and the 100 miles (almost)
Hello Cats and Kittens, we are fresh out the wilderness (and by fresh
I mean so smelly you know we are coming from a mile away) and will do
our best to fill you in on all our adventures. First we are out of the
"100 mile wilderness" though still haven't finished it. I know kinda
confusing, basically we were about 20 miles from finishing the wilderness when I
rolled my ankle pretty badly. I've rolled my ankle a few times, but
this time it hurt to walk, and we were concerned about doing further
damage. Its a longer story but essentially we did a lot of extra hiking
trying to get out of the wilderness, spent a day hitch hiking, and now
are in a hostel in Monson, resting our legs, showering, eating real food, resupplying and enjoying all the "modern day comforts" that we often take for granted. We got in yesterday, and will be leaving on Friday, spending tomorrow working all day for the hostel so the three nights we spent here will be free. Work for stay is the jam!!
Im gonna try to give a general overview, then Andrew or I will do our best to give more details later. Lets go old school.
Roses aka the good of the last two weeks.
The Views: I've seen some of the most remarkable landscape, mountains, lakes, animals, freakin everything in the last two weeks than I've ever seen. The land up in Maine is rough (Ill cover that in my thorns) but DAMN it's beautiful. We climb mountain after mountain, each view a different angle of this beautiful state. We walk by the same lake for days, stopping to dip our sore feet in the cool water. Tent sites by the lakes are filled with the sound of loons all night long. Many lean-to's are right besides streams, or waterfalls, so we go to sleep to the sound of rushing water, which sometimes helps with the other hikers loud snoring. We wake up and walk down to a rushing waterfall, and fill our water filter bag, dipping our tired toes in the ice cold water, waking our body up before we may be ready. We watch the sunset every night, and night means total darkness, with stars covering the sky. We are doing our best to post pictures, but right now it aint happening. We will continue to try, because my paltry words cannot express the dazzling nature I've been blessed to see the last week and half.
The lakes: One great thing about Maine is that there is water a plenty. Not just streams, but massive lakes that seem to stretch on forever.We can go swimming, bury our felt in smooth mountain rocks, and watch the reflection of the sunset as it covers the surface of the lakes with colorful beauty.
The wildlife (mostly): We have seen a bear, moose, loons, snow hair, owls, ducks, guinea hens, and the oh so pesky chipmunks, squirrels, and mice.That's rights, we have already seen two moose! The first one we saw on our 6th day when we stayed at a B&B/hostel type in the middle of the wilderness called White House Landing. Mostly because I was going a little nuts in the woods and needed a shower and to talk to my Mom. Anyway this place had canoes and was right on the river so we took a canoe out at sunset in the attempt to spot a moose. Moose watching if you will. And sure enough, right as we were about to turn back we saw a Cow (female Moose) drinking from the lake. They aren't too skiddish so we were able to paddle about 10 feet from it and watch as it enjoyed the same cool lake that we had. Our second moose was spotted by me, about 700 feet from our lean too, right at the end of a long hiking day. Long story short, I was crying (as I have almost every day) and walking slow enough that I spotted a dark spot in the middle of some thick bushes by a mud puddle. Andrew and I tried to creep closer and then it turned into the bushes. Andrew ran ahead to try to get a picture, and as he did another SOBO hiker (Trail Name Angry German) came whistling behind us unaware of our attempt at stealthyness. I quickly shushed him and as I did we saw the moose come out of the bushes and got to see it swatting flies with is large ears. Andrew had run way too far ahead and yelled, "Lys I think its gone" and I laughing responded "Babe, Im literally staring at it, its like 10 feet away." So Andrew came running back up the trail to see it, and as he did, the Cow (again female Moose) started walking in my direction. Now I don't know how close yall have been to a Moose, but it suddenly occured to me that this beautiful muscular moose body could be pretty deadly if so provoked. As it took another step in my direction, the other SOBO I was with, advised me to get behind a tree, in case of moose attack. So AG (Angry German) and I got behind some skinny little trees as Andrew came loudly tip-toeing on the other side of the Moose. The Moose ran between us and up a hill as we watched in awe the great beast climb a steep dense forest in a few quick strides. We laughed and discussed our moose encounter as we walked the few minutes to our sleeping destination for the night and set down our packs. Moments later we saw the moose rounding around the corner of the trail as it ran full speed downhill into the stream about 30 feet below. Needless to say Moose are super cool, and if you want to see one, it probably helps to cry.
We also had a RIDICULOUS bear encounter, but Ill let Andrew cover that one, because his pack took the brunt of that experience. I will say there was a black bear that snuck up about 10 feet behind me and for the first time in my life I ran screaming at a black bear, throwing rocks and yelling things such as "This is not your home bear! Go back to your home! I will get you!"
Trail Magic: There are two sayings on the trail, trail magic and trail angels, that pretty much help keep you on the bloody thing. Trail magic is anytime a stranger or fellow hiker does something unexpectedly kind. Trail Angels are people that help you in a time of need, or really anytime. Trail magic can range from a cooler of sodas left out in the woods, to gifting you extra food, to a ride into town, really anything that brightens your day. Our first trail magic was DEET bugspray, which is ironic given we both swore never to use the stuff. But on the third day I was averaging 15-20 misquito bites on my ass and thighs alone, so I was in some desperate need of some deet. A section hiker heard us complaining about how terrible the bugs were, and gifted us the last of his bugspray since he was finishing his hike the next day. A fellow SOBO (AG again) got some food trail magic from a group of weekend hikers and saved us each a kiwi just because. Some older lady section hikers were about to go into town, so gave Andrew and I some gummy snacks, a full container of organic peanut butter, crackers, and all kinds of other goodies. When I rolled my ankle we were given rides from 4 seperate cars, all who happily tried to make sure we got to Monson. I could go on, and will some other time.
Love from home: When at White House Landing, I got to talk on the phone to my Mom, and my Asheville Mom, Larissa, which made a massive difference in my mood. Somehow in the woods the days feel twice and long and it's very easy to forget there are people who love me and believe I can do this. Talking to my "two moms" reminded me of the incredible people in my life, and my ability to make myself completely crazy by insisting on irrational thinking. I also got some texts from my mom, my hommie Christine, and a few days later a great voicemail from my girl Bri. Texts, emails, voicemails, are all really appreciated, even if I can't reply quickly, know they mean the world after a hard day of hiking.
Andrew: He has been a hiking rockstar. Patient with my slow ass self, constant in his positive mood no matter the struggle of the day, going with the flow, even if it means spending a day hitching because of my rolled ankle, encouraging me to push forward even in the face of my tears and negative attitude, basically being his consistent kind rockstar self. Sometimes its hard for me not to resent him, because all of this comes so much easier for him, but he is just too damn positive for me to do that.
I'm sure there are more roses, but I'm getting tired, so that's what I have so far.
So thorns. Sadly I've probably been focusing more on these than I should. First I wanted to list the reasons I decided to do the AT, so that when I list my complaints I don't sounds like so much of a whiney face.
Reasons that I, Lysandra, wanted to do the AT:
1. I want to develop a deeper gratitude for the world I live in. To remember to appreciate and recognize the millions of miracles that happen every day.
2. I want to develop a stronger strength in myself both physically and mentally. I want to become more confidant in my physical body and push myself to my physical and mental limits, in order to explore my negative thought patterns, and find healthier ways to process stress. This may be the one I struggle with the most.
3. I want an adventure, to try something new. I've notice with age comes the idea that if you haven't done something yet, you never can. I do not want this to be true in my life. Even though being a beginner is hard, it teaches you so much, and hiking the AT is about as far out of my comfort zone as it gets. While also being an incredible cool healthy thing to do.
4. I want to remind myself it's about the journey, not the destination
5. I want to figure out what I want to do with my life, for at least the next few years. What is next for me, in terms of career and where I want to live, all that grown-up stuff.
6. To figure out if Andrew and I will go through this next phase in our life together, or not.
So Thorns aka not so good:
THE PAIN: I've never been so physically sore in my life. At the end of the day my feet feel like giant bruises and each step is agony. Or lets say some days are agony, some are uncomfortable but, in general my feet, ankles and knees bring me to tears at least once a day. Maine is a rooty, rocky, rough terrain that can be difficult for a seasoned NOBO so is clearly a horribly rough start for a newbie SOBO. Many consider Maine the "hardest state" and I've been warned that "I haven't even seen hard yet"so its hard not to fear the pain to come. When it hurts to walk, and that is what you have to do for the next six months, it can feel really overwhelming.
BUGS: Bugs love me. They cover me in love bites. That itch. A. LOT. Flies seem to like to fly into my hair, and bite my scalp. One night Andrew counted13 mosquito bites on my rear end alone. They also seem to like my thighs. Lots of big spiders, constantly walking into spider webs. I know, it's nature, bugs are everywhere, but they make me fuckin nuts sometimes.
All the boys: This fucking trail is swimming with men. Young, old, all smelly and dirty ( to be fair I am also very smelly and dirty), and all men. Sure men are fine, great even, but I'm seriously missing some female friendship. I mean you seen ladies every now and then, but hardly any SOBOs, and many females I've met have that hardcore I'm so tough and badass vibe which just isn't how I am. Of course that can be really great, but mostly the badass type, both male and female seem to want to scare me about how hard things are going to get, how I've barely done anything yet, how people have died on this trail, broken bones, general talk that is meant to make them feel super hard core and often leaves me feeling scared and desiring a whole to crawl into.
Crying/Negative thoughts: Yep, I've cried almost every day. After the first few days of the whimpering, constant "I can't do it, I suck, I'm a big fat loser" type talk Andrew piped in with his two cents. Basically he sympathized with my crying as a way to release emotion, but had a serious problem with all the negative shitty things I insisted on whining to myself as I actively climbed a mountain. So I've stopped most of the whining, but still am brought to tears by the pain of my feet, knees or ankles once a day. Maybe I'm still a wimp, but this stuff is hard. I've never been hardcore physically, so it's hard to know where to put all the pain and emotion of doing this stuff.
Being a beginner: It seems like almost everyone I've met has been hiking for years, planning this trip since they were a kid, and even most of the SOBO's I've met are already doing 15-20 mile days. There is nothing in the AT world I feel good at, or even familiar with. Nothing I feel confidant at, and in fact on a daily, almost hourly basis I feel like its the first day of kindergarten all over again. Of course it was one of my reasons for doing the damn thing, but in the hard moments, its so FUCKING frustrating to feel like I'm the only one who is new to all this. Also rolling my ankle every few days isn't the best.
The food: The "hiker hunger" hasn't kicked in yet, and we brought very bland food, so I've pretty much been nauseous 80% of the time. I mean I've always had a problem with that, so having to eat super early, hike on a full stomach with a tight strap around my stomach doesn't help and I'm a hot mess of wanting to vomit all the time.
Ok WOW, this turned into more of a personal check-in than a meant it to. We will def try to give more of a detailed account of our days, the mountains, all the cool peeps, all funny stories before we get back on the trail. Also I'm exhausted to be forgiving to the grammer, spelling, general no makey sense of some of this post.
Please keep the love coming, I know I need the support, and though Andrew is his usual positive self he can always use all the love you can throw at him.
Thanks for reading and supporting our journey. Loves yall. Loves.
Im gonna try to give a general overview, then Andrew or I will do our best to give more details later. Lets go old school.
Roses aka the good of the last two weeks.
The Views: I've seen some of the most remarkable landscape, mountains, lakes, animals, freakin everything in the last two weeks than I've ever seen. The land up in Maine is rough (Ill cover that in my thorns) but DAMN it's beautiful. We climb mountain after mountain, each view a different angle of this beautiful state. We walk by the same lake for days, stopping to dip our sore feet in the cool water. Tent sites by the lakes are filled with the sound of loons all night long. Many lean-to's are right besides streams, or waterfalls, so we go to sleep to the sound of rushing water, which sometimes helps with the other hikers loud snoring. We wake up and walk down to a rushing waterfall, and fill our water filter bag, dipping our tired toes in the ice cold water, waking our body up before we may be ready. We watch the sunset every night, and night means total darkness, with stars covering the sky. We are doing our best to post pictures, but right now it aint happening. We will continue to try, because my paltry words cannot express the dazzling nature I've been blessed to see the last week and half.
The lakes: One great thing about Maine is that there is water a plenty. Not just streams, but massive lakes that seem to stretch on forever.We can go swimming, bury our felt in smooth mountain rocks, and watch the reflection of the sunset as it covers the surface of the lakes with colorful beauty.
The wildlife (mostly): We have seen a bear, moose, loons, snow hair, owls, ducks, guinea hens, and the oh so pesky chipmunks, squirrels, and mice.That's rights, we have already seen two moose! The first one we saw on our 6th day when we stayed at a B&B/hostel type in the middle of the wilderness called White House Landing. Mostly because I was going a little nuts in the woods and needed a shower and to talk to my Mom. Anyway this place had canoes and was right on the river so we took a canoe out at sunset in the attempt to spot a moose. Moose watching if you will. And sure enough, right as we were about to turn back we saw a Cow (female Moose) drinking from the lake. They aren't too skiddish so we were able to paddle about 10 feet from it and watch as it enjoyed the same cool lake that we had. Our second moose was spotted by me, about 700 feet from our lean too, right at the end of a long hiking day. Long story short, I was crying (as I have almost every day) and walking slow enough that I spotted a dark spot in the middle of some thick bushes by a mud puddle. Andrew and I tried to creep closer and then it turned into the bushes. Andrew ran ahead to try to get a picture, and as he did another SOBO hiker (Trail Name Angry German) came whistling behind us unaware of our attempt at stealthyness. I quickly shushed him and as I did we saw the moose come out of the bushes and got to see it swatting flies with is large ears. Andrew had run way too far ahead and yelled, "Lys I think its gone" and I laughing responded "Babe, Im literally staring at it, its like 10 feet away." So Andrew came running back up the trail to see it, and as he did, the Cow (again female Moose) started walking in my direction. Now I don't know how close yall have been to a Moose, but it suddenly occured to me that this beautiful muscular moose body could be pretty deadly if so provoked. As it took another step in my direction, the other SOBO I was with, advised me to get behind a tree, in case of moose attack. So AG (Angry German) and I got behind some skinny little trees as Andrew came loudly tip-toeing on the other side of the Moose. The Moose ran between us and up a hill as we watched in awe the great beast climb a steep dense forest in a few quick strides. We laughed and discussed our moose encounter as we walked the few minutes to our sleeping destination for the night and set down our packs. Moments later we saw the moose rounding around the corner of the trail as it ran full speed downhill into the stream about 30 feet below. Needless to say Moose are super cool, and if you want to see one, it probably helps to cry.
We also had a RIDICULOUS bear encounter, but Ill let Andrew cover that one, because his pack took the brunt of that experience. I will say there was a black bear that snuck up about 10 feet behind me and for the first time in my life I ran screaming at a black bear, throwing rocks and yelling things such as "This is not your home bear! Go back to your home! I will get you!"
Trail Magic: There are two sayings on the trail, trail magic and trail angels, that pretty much help keep you on the bloody thing. Trail magic is anytime a stranger or fellow hiker does something unexpectedly kind. Trail Angels are people that help you in a time of need, or really anytime. Trail magic can range from a cooler of sodas left out in the woods, to gifting you extra food, to a ride into town, really anything that brightens your day. Our first trail magic was DEET bugspray, which is ironic given we both swore never to use the stuff. But on the third day I was averaging 15-20 misquito bites on my ass and thighs alone, so I was in some desperate need of some deet. A section hiker heard us complaining about how terrible the bugs were, and gifted us the last of his bugspray since he was finishing his hike the next day. A fellow SOBO (AG again) got some food trail magic from a group of weekend hikers and saved us each a kiwi just because. Some older lady section hikers were about to go into town, so gave Andrew and I some gummy snacks, a full container of organic peanut butter, crackers, and all kinds of other goodies. When I rolled my ankle we were given rides from 4 seperate cars, all who happily tried to make sure we got to Monson. I could go on, and will some other time.
Love from home: When at White House Landing, I got to talk on the phone to my Mom, and my Asheville Mom, Larissa, which made a massive difference in my mood. Somehow in the woods the days feel twice and long and it's very easy to forget there are people who love me and believe I can do this. Talking to my "two moms" reminded me of the incredible people in my life, and my ability to make myself completely crazy by insisting on irrational thinking. I also got some texts from my mom, my hommie Christine, and a few days later a great voicemail from my girl Bri. Texts, emails, voicemails, are all really appreciated, even if I can't reply quickly, know they mean the world after a hard day of hiking.
Andrew: He has been a hiking rockstar. Patient with my slow ass self, constant in his positive mood no matter the struggle of the day, going with the flow, even if it means spending a day hitching because of my rolled ankle, encouraging me to push forward even in the face of my tears and negative attitude, basically being his consistent kind rockstar self. Sometimes its hard for me not to resent him, because all of this comes so much easier for him, but he is just too damn positive for me to do that.
I'm sure there are more roses, but I'm getting tired, so that's what I have so far.
So thorns. Sadly I've probably been focusing more on these than I should. First I wanted to list the reasons I decided to do the AT, so that when I list my complaints I don't sounds like so much of a whiney face.
Reasons that I, Lysandra, wanted to do the AT:
1. I want to develop a deeper gratitude for the world I live in. To remember to appreciate and recognize the millions of miracles that happen every day.
2. I want to develop a stronger strength in myself both physically and mentally. I want to become more confidant in my physical body and push myself to my physical and mental limits, in order to explore my negative thought patterns, and find healthier ways to process stress. This may be the one I struggle with the most.
3. I want an adventure, to try something new. I've notice with age comes the idea that if you haven't done something yet, you never can. I do not want this to be true in my life. Even though being a beginner is hard, it teaches you so much, and hiking the AT is about as far out of my comfort zone as it gets. While also being an incredible cool healthy thing to do.
4. I want to remind myself it's about the journey, not the destination
5. I want to figure out what I want to do with my life, for at least the next few years. What is next for me, in terms of career and where I want to live, all that grown-up stuff.
6. To figure out if Andrew and I will go through this next phase in our life together, or not.
So Thorns aka not so good:
THE PAIN: I've never been so physically sore in my life. At the end of the day my feet feel like giant bruises and each step is agony. Or lets say some days are agony, some are uncomfortable but, in general my feet, ankles and knees bring me to tears at least once a day. Maine is a rooty, rocky, rough terrain that can be difficult for a seasoned NOBO so is clearly a horribly rough start for a newbie SOBO. Many consider Maine the "hardest state" and I've been warned that "I haven't even seen hard yet"so its hard not to fear the pain to come. When it hurts to walk, and that is what you have to do for the next six months, it can feel really overwhelming.
BUGS: Bugs love me. They cover me in love bites. That itch. A. LOT. Flies seem to like to fly into my hair, and bite my scalp. One night Andrew counted13 mosquito bites on my rear end alone. They also seem to like my thighs. Lots of big spiders, constantly walking into spider webs. I know, it's nature, bugs are everywhere, but they make me fuckin nuts sometimes.
All the boys: This fucking trail is swimming with men. Young, old, all smelly and dirty ( to be fair I am also very smelly and dirty), and all men. Sure men are fine, great even, but I'm seriously missing some female friendship. I mean you seen ladies every now and then, but hardly any SOBOs, and many females I've met have that hardcore I'm so tough and badass vibe which just isn't how I am. Of course that can be really great, but mostly the badass type, both male and female seem to want to scare me about how hard things are going to get, how I've barely done anything yet, how people have died on this trail, broken bones, general talk that is meant to make them feel super hard core and often leaves me feeling scared and desiring a whole to crawl into.
Crying/Negative thoughts: Yep, I've cried almost every day. After the first few days of the whimpering, constant "I can't do it, I suck, I'm a big fat loser" type talk Andrew piped in with his two cents. Basically he sympathized with my crying as a way to release emotion, but had a serious problem with all the negative shitty things I insisted on whining to myself as I actively climbed a mountain. So I've stopped most of the whining, but still am brought to tears by the pain of my feet, knees or ankles once a day. Maybe I'm still a wimp, but this stuff is hard. I've never been hardcore physically, so it's hard to know where to put all the pain and emotion of doing this stuff.
Being a beginner: It seems like almost everyone I've met has been hiking for years, planning this trip since they were a kid, and even most of the SOBO's I've met are already doing 15-20 mile days. There is nothing in the AT world I feel good at, or even familiar with. Nothing I feel confidant at, and in fact on a daily, almost hourly basis I feel like its the first day of kindergarten all over again. Of course it was one of my reasons for doing the damn thing, but in the hard moments, its so FUCKING frustrating to feel like I'm the only one who is new to all this. Also rolling my ankle every few days isn't the best.
The food: The "hiker hunger" hasn't kicked in yet, and we brought very bland food, so I've pretty much been nauseous 80% of the time. I mean I've always had a problem with that, so having to eat super early, hike on a full stomach with a tight strap around my stomach doesn't help and I'm a hot mess of wanting to vomit all the time.
Ok WOW, this turned into more of a personal check-in than a meant it to. We will def try to give more of a detailed account of our days, the mountains, all the cool peeps, all funny stories before we get back on the trail. Also I'm exhausted to be forgiving to the grammer, spelling, general no makey sense of some of this post.
Please keep the love coming, I know I need the support, and though Andrew is his usual positive self he can always use all the love you can throw at him.
Thanks for reading and supporting our journey. Loves yall. Loves.
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